Play time is over:( time to accomplish!

I only have a couple more days left here in good ole Queen Creek, and then I have to head back down to school. I cant believe 3 weeks have already come and gone. Im kind of looking foreword though to going back...ok actually Im dreading it a bit, but Im working on the positive talk. This semester I am going with the attitude of accomplishing specific goals, and I WILL follow through with them, Im pretty sure thats why last semester was so lackadaisical was because I wasn't sure of where I was going and what for. Here are my new goals for 2009...1. Get a 3.0, 2. apply to a University (I am not going to mention which university, because I get so much flack for what ever school i say, it will be a surprise!) 3. Spend time regularly at library, Channel my obsessive energy towards my studies, 4. apply to a summer volunteer program, 5. join intramural soccer, 6. attend institute weekly, 7. find more service opportunities, 8. save enough extra money to join a real technical dance class, 8. Start living in the present, quit looking back to my past, and worrying about the future. 9. be myself always, no more holding back!...and of course I have more things I am changing and new habits to form, but those are my priorities.   

Married...At my age!!!??

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend the wedding and reception of my best friend Molly. I met Molly my sophomore year of high school, I was new to the school, I didnt have many friends and instantly Molly reached out to me. She was bubbly, knew lots of people, and had every cute guys number...I was lucky to be her friend. She helped me discover my more social and goofy side, I love her for that. Whenever Molly and I would have sleepovers, we would ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS talk about our wedding day. We would talk about how handsome and great our husbands would be, what our reception would look like, the songs we would play for our "first dance", and where we would go on our honeymoons. It was so fun painting these magical fairytale like pictures of what love would be like for us one day. And as often as we would dream and talk of these days, I never really could see it happening to any of us too soon, It seemed like a far off tale. But last weekend I got to watch all of Molly's dreams come true. It was so un-real to see all of those wonderful things happen to her. But what was even more impressing to me was to see just how happy she truly was. It was written all over her face! Granted the road towards her happiness wasn't pain free, She had to endure some hard knocks, but in my eyes that makes her all the more beautiful...Now Im going to be honest, lately I have been pretty fed up with all the 'engaged and underage' gals around me, not that im jealous, I just dont understand it! I guess I just feel way to much like a child, that I just could never picture myself being a wife any day soon. But standing back, and watching Molly's wedding gave me a new outlook. Now i'm not going to go sign up on LDS singles, or attend institute activities any more than I usually do, But in a sense I have a new hope. My heart has been softend, and I can't wait till I find the one who will love me the way I need to be. And make me glow in the same way that Molly did when she looked at her husband. Ok, there Im done...I said all the things I wanted to, now let the insulting begin...I always have been and always will be a hopeless romantic:) Congrats Molly! I love you!...Oh and just one more small note, I caught the bouquet!

I'm home for Christmas!

Its back to the petty cat fights over clothes, the hounding to get a job, cleaning the black hole, gardening early saturday mornings, and it's never felt so good to be home. I forgot how ridiculous my nieces are, don't get me wrong, I love them for it. But its hilarious to see how fast an argument can flare up from one wrong look. I don't remember it being this 'sensitive' when I was here, but maybe thats just because lately I have had some heavy dosage of maturation:), little things like that just don't bother me anymore. I just want everyone to be happy and get along, is that so wrong?! Yesterday, some of us girls went and bought some fake reading glasses, and we all had plans to wear them to church. We were going to be the new Smart Family. All day we have just been prancing around the house pretending to be more intelligent than before. I insisted that I wear mine to the singles ward here, so then everyone would think that I was a real College girl...i mean come on, everyone knows glasses seal the deal when your trying to prove that you have 'changed'. Well that, an engagement ring. Not really interested in the latter...a little to permanent for my short attention span. Anyway, its great to be back, I have big plans, of course, things to do and change before i head back to thatcher scratcher...what better time to do so though, its the Season of Hope!

All Nighters

This week has by far been the best week of my whole semester. I guess you save the best for last right? Since monday, my roomates and I have been hanging out with my cousin Taylor and his cousin (not my side) Nephi. They have stayed over almost every night, no sleeping of course, but doing every crazy ridiculous thing in between. One night we had 'dare night', that resulted in alot of upset stomaches, and some wet pants. Another night, the boys decided to dress up as cowboys and we drove up to the mountain and took pictures up there. And an all nighter wouldnt be considered legit without face cards...we all have developed an obsession for the game Scum. And one night, everyone even managed to help me study for my psychology exam that was at seven am the next morning ( I got a 97%!!!). A couple of the nights at around 4 am ( that doesn't sound right) the boys would say they were hungry so Danni and I headed to Wal-Mart and picked up pancake mix and cinnamon rolls. Of all the 'all nighters' that we have pulled this week, I would have to say that last night was the worst...the night started out with a road trip to tucson which was a little too long in my opinion. And taylor and nephi insisted that we stay up till 8 am the next morning...I was not up for this one, my body was done staying up, and i was ready to head home now that i was done with my finals. But if any of you know my cousin taylor, you would know that he would make your life a living heck if you do anything contradicting his ideas. If I, or anyone else for that matter, would close their eyes it would result in pillow fights, stupid loud obnoxious clap games, and occasionally one huge group hug...I know it was as gay as it sounds. Nonetheless, this week has been so entertaining... it was the first time in the past 5 months here that i have wanted to stay in thatcher instead of come home:)

Life, as I know it...

This is my blog. I asked Danni to make me one so that I could post my analysis of all my roomates. And of course, as with all things, I really wanted this blog so that I could post about myself...Im a pretty narsisistic human being. But you wont be let down, I'm pretty entertaining. I'm a fun self centered person:) Ok well I'm going to start off from the beggining, give you an idea of how my life is these days, since I know everyone wants to know...First of all, this is my first semester of college, at Eastern Arizona, and it has been the hardest and best of times. Lets talk about the hard times and then I will end on a good note with the best of times. So far from being here I have learned what its like to be alone. I know that sounds pathetic, but to a girl who thrives off of family and friend love, its been pretty tough not having people be obsessed with me every second of the day. I mean, high school was great and all, I guess you could say I had a name for myself, and I was proud of that name. And then when I came here, everything that I built was gone. And now this is where my sisters tell me " Well thats life Jack, time to grow up"... And I'm coming to terms with the whole 'moving on' thing, its just alot harder than I thought it would be. Speaking of moving on, I had a really 'close friend' of mine leave on a mission in May. It was heart breaking,painful, joyous, and it was a HUGE adjustment. But as with all hard things in life, it has made me stronger and better. But I am going to say this, I wish there was a book written on how to cope with having the boy your in love with leave on a mission...now that I think of it, I think I will write it! The whole freshman 15, has been pretty depressing too, My roomates feel the need to go out for ice cream as soon as its 12 am or later, I tell ya college kids have terrible eating habits. Finances have been a gift and a curse for me this semester, I was so happy I had left over scholarship money, but then I quickly found out I am not capable of managing large amounts of money. It results in un-needed trips back home, i pods, short lived hair extentions, fast food, and...ya that about sums up where it all went. And now that Im in the home stretch Im praying I can make rent...Needless to say I have plans to improve myslef in all of these aspects next semester...you live and learn right? And I have also discovered being a college cheerleader is not all that its cracked up to be. Ok now lets move on to why college has been great! I would have to say the best thing about being here is meeting new people, granted I havent been the biggest social butterfly (I have plans to change that also) , But the people I have met and been close with have had a lasting influence on my life. If there is any reason to be glad I came here, it would be for the wonderful people I have met. My roomates in particular...and my running partner. The firesides and devotionals are phenominal, They have a way of always touching my heart and reminding me why I'm important. They keep me going. And since the town I live in is quite small, I have developed an un-dying love for Wal-Mart, I don't know what it is but I love going there. I have learned that they have the best deals around, and Im sure that will help in the long run, when I have to shop frugally for my future family. And its not a bad gig to stay out however late you want, with zero consequences. I cant really think of any other profound things that I have changed me for the better since I have been here. But maybe thats just it, Its all the little things that are happening to me that are shaping me, and making me become the person I am supposed to be. I like to think of myself as a work in progress. I have plenty of things I need change and improve about myself, and Im quite glad I have the opportunity to do so. Life is somewhat of a blank slate for me right now, and I get to decide what I want the picture to look like. Thats empowering. Being on your own forces you to 'dig deep', as Chea would say, and for that lesson I am grateful. I'm finding out life isn't meant to be easy from here on out, in fact I can expect plenty more dissapointments, failing, upset, crying, phone calls home asking for the 'right' answers. But its how I teach myself how to react to these negative things that are going to ultimatley determine the strength within me. So if next semester is just as stressful and hard as this one, I still say give it to me, for learning how to succeed and overcome obstacles on my own, Its worth it.